A Bunch Of Nonsense

When you are talking to your children about an important life lesson, do you ever feel like you’re rambling on and on, making little sense and speaking in circles? Let me give you a prime example.

The other night at the dinner table, our youngest was telling us about a boy at school who was getting in trouble for being mean to some of the other kids, including our daughter. But she said that on Monday, she offered to share her paint supplies with him and now he’s not going to bother her anymore.

My husband and I were excited to hear that our little llama is learning to work situations out on her own and make friends at school, so I start in on this long-winded sermon about how some children just need a friend but don’t know how to make one and by reaching out to someone who at first appears to be difficult, you might be surprised at their response to your kindness. Then I start down a really disjointed road about The Golden Rule and how if you treat others the way you’d like to be treated, then they might treat you nicely back. And that’s the way you wanted to be treated all along.

When I stopped to take a breath, I just started giggling – which, I’m sure, negatively impacted the effectiveness of my diatribe. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much my circular reasoning – even if it was well-intentioned and based on sound principles – sounded like Mike Brady in 1995’s The Brady Bunch Movie. Did you see it? The film was a spoof of the old Brady Bunch television series, and the patriarch of the family said brilliant things like this:

“Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you’re really just tattling on yourself. By tattling on your friends, you’re just telling them that you’re a tattletale. Now is that the tale you want to tell?”

Or equally stunning statements like: “As a wise man once said, ‘Wherever you go, there you are.’”

The Brady kids, of course, would nod obediently and say things like, “Wow, I never thought of it like that, Dad.” My daughter, on the other hand, just looked very confused and, I’m not going to lie to you, a little bit scared when I finished my motivational speech.

Clearly, I need better scriptwriters.