Facebook Mania

Several weeks ago, I joined the social networking phenomenon Facebook in a weak attempt to be hip and current. I was promised that I would love reconnecting with old friends from high school, college, work, etc. and that my life would not be complete without it. Okay, maybe I made that last part up, but I was feeling the peer pressure – which I realize is ridiculous at 40 years old (“if all of your friends jumped off a cliff – and broke a hip – would you do it, too?”).

Anyway, I joined and quickly became addicted. Within 24 hours, my family was going hungry and the laundry was piling up as I sat glassy-eyed in front of the computer. My daughters kept track of how many “friends” I had like bookies watching the odds in Vegas, and I read posts and looked at pictures from people I had not spoken to, in many cases, in over 25 years. It became overwhelming.

I would lie awake at night worrying about a sorority sister’s pregnant cat that was lost…or a high school friend’s little boy’s tonsillectomy…or the cryptic messages people would post, like “praying for so-and-so” with no further explanation or, in one disturbing case, “I will NOT be told how to live my life by ANYONE.” Clearly, I had just enough information to be dangerous and didn’t have the full story. Of course, prior to joining Facebook, I didn’t even know that my sorority sister OWNED a cat or that my childhood friend HAD a son…so did it matter that I didn’t have all the information?

Now Facebook is the ideal forum for some people. I have friends that are hilarious, and their senses of humor are perfect for the one- or two-sentence updates people post as their statuses (stati?) on Facebook. Their funny quips are random and thought-provoking, in some cases, and always make me smile. However, I apparently don’t have that gift. I rarely update my status because I feel like a) no one is interested in my mundane life experiences, and b) if I try to be TOO clever, it won’t be funny at all, or my “serious” posts will come off like a Miss America contestant passionately promoting world peace – trying too hard and ending up too vapid.

There are other things that bother me about Facebook. Like people posting photos of alleged children and spouses without any identification. For the love of Pete, please put names and how they’re related to you, FBers! It’s also an odd group of people assembled as your “friends” – much like a wedding, when you might end up with a photo of your grandmother partying with your fraternity brothers – and each time you send a message, it goes to all of these people. What could possibly be meaningful, or even interesting, to this ENTIRE group?

I don’t mean to seem unfeeling, but I really don’t care what someone is thinking about cooking for dinner, and I’m pretty sure they don’t care what I’m going to fix, either. It’s a crazy situation – some people give minute-by-minute updates on what they are doing and (forgive me), most of the time, it’s not that important. And don’t get me STARTED on the bad grammar. As a geeky English major, I fight every fiber of my being to not correct the improper spellings, incorrect usages (i.e., your vs. you’re), etc. Perfect example why people should slow down and re-read their updates before posting: one friend wrote “making a lust for dating my teenage nephew.” This one misspelled word – she meant list – changed the entire meaning of the sentence…and is illegal in most states.

Anyway, my assessment of Facebook so far is that it’s oddly addictive and yet utterly just odd. In the past several weeks, I’ve gone from not talking to people in over two decades to knowing their every move. I also believe at this point that Facebook – for ME, anyway – lacks true connection. The ones I’m enjoying catching up with the most are generally people I have kept in touch with through other means, and the people I’ve “reconnected” with after many years have been fun to find but our conversations have been pretty shallow. However, I must admit that it’s helped me get to know some of the other moms at the girls’ school better – because I know what’s going on in their lives, when their kids are sick, when they’re going on vacation, etc. – and that is a positive.

Better go now and check Facebook. LOL.